a waNdereR's Love

aFfair wiF tHe affaiRs

Sunday, March 11, 2007

as daYs pass, as tiMe catChes uP wiF me, aS d werLd sumhoW gets smaLLer..i juz waNna wondeR:

waD makes a sPouse seeK aNother, apaRt froM his or Her owN partner?

iS d d Loss of intimacY & affectiOn in hiS or her oWn marriaGe? iS it negLect froM him or her owN spouSe? is it puRe temptatioN? is it fLaws in d partneRs?

whaT is an affair? is it mereLy a matter of lingO? suM knOw it as 'infideLity' or 'adulterY'. suM saY its juZ 'hanging oUt', 'swinginG around', 'nothing serioUs' or a 'oNe-nYt stand'. or is it a mAtter of perceptiOns? wiFe sayS 'goinG out wiF thaT womaN freN of yours' is an affaiR or husbaNd saYs 'thaT maLe coLLeagUe keePs wHo messaginG you is ur boYfreN'. d liSt caN jusT go On & oN....

Geez. theorisTs say theRe are 5 tyPEs of ExTra maritaL affaiRs:

ConflicT avoidanCe affairs
IntimacY avoidanCe affairs
sexuaL addictiOn affaiR
exiT affaiR
spLit seLf affaiR

Read HERE, in caSe u'Re curiOus waD thiS (mostLy) seLf-expLanatory jargoNs meaN. n trusT me, in thiS agE, not onLi meN do thiS. woMen dO faLL intO the 'traP'.

d natUre of my werK is such thaT itS a doubLe edGed sworD: itS both a bLessinG & a hazaRd toO. i sEe d siDe of socieTy hiddeN behinD d concRete waLLs of modernisatiOn & ecoNomY. i sEe d subconsciOus functioNing in individuaLs. i sEe weaKnessEs coVereD by d achieveMents demandeD by socieTy. i sEe d unfortunaTe sideLineD by todaY's systeMs. i sEe d unexPecTed; and d werLd beiNG reaLi smaLL..i sEe peopLe froM my owN sociaL circLe, pasT & presenT & probabLy futurE enterinG my worK spheRe wiF theiR shaRe of difficuLties.

i coUnt my bLessinGs 'coS oThers' Life experieNces are eye-OpeneRs & becoMe my besT teachers. howeVer, meetinG & hearinG storiEs of thoSe famiLiar tO mE..aT tyMz, leaVes me appaLed & disappoiNted (dependiNg on d issUe of course).

a recenT revelatioN/discoVery thaT sum1 i respecTed & his other haLf weRe in d midsT of divorce procEedings. d reasOn: d exTra affaiR wif suM1 way mucH younGer than his aGe. n i begiN to wonder whY.

oF koS, its noNe of my business hoW peopLe run their marriaGes or reLate to each otHer in d marriaGe or deciDe d way to gO in their marriaGes. juZ thaT in my werK, weN u'Re so usEd to meetinG stranGers & hearinG their stoRies & werkinG togetHer wif theM to maKe thinGs righT agaiN.. thaT weN storiEs froM near distances emerGe, it bcoMes oh, so cLose to d hearT.

d news was mind-bLowing. it tOok me awhiLe to let it sinK in. Ya, it seeMs thaT i'm haVing doubLe standardS in my accepTance of whO d probLem coMes to. buT heY, i'm humaN. sumhOw, i dO get over my disappointmeNts aFter seLf-theraPy & discussiOns wiF coLLeaguEs whO heaR my raNts & shaRe their thougHts as weLL.

hearinG storiEs of affaiRs: brinGs reaLisatioN oN d vaLue & sanctitY of marriaGe, thaT it reaLi taKes a Lot of werK to maintaiN it for years & years. no douBt, Allah wiLL determiNe d fate of ur marriaGe. buT @ leasT, humanLy efforTs haVe beeN iNvested into d marriaGE.

is it aLL bLeak aFter an affair is reveaLed or discoVered by the spoUse? yeS & no. suM deciDe to throw in d toweL after d hurT & paiN of d discovEry. suM turn oVer a new leaF. suM refleCt on hoW botH husband & wifE havE contriButed to d probLem & deciDe to wOrK on d marriaGe. sUm enD up experienCing d mosT lossEs @ d end of d daY - losinG botH spoUse & d affaiR that he/sHe's had.

fwaaAah..heaVy & depressiNg coFFee taLk for a saturdaY morninG.

i haVe to nOte thesE tOtz doWn nevatheLess.

is ModernisatiOn corrodiNg our vaLues on marriaGe & threaTening d institUtioN of familY? or is it juZ a matteR of personaL choiCe??

whaT becoMes of d fuTure?

-thOughTz sPoKen @ 12:34 AM :)