falling hearts

The-Lady

~peNgLipuR LaRa~
*Age: 16 pLus 10, CaNceRiaN
*GeNdeR: VeNuS
OccuPatiOn: proFessionaL heLper
*LoCatiOn: hOme is wheRe d heaRt is (",)


26 years have paSsed & many more fruitfuL years of Life ahead, insyaAllah. I tenK HIM for every breaThe i taKe & for aLL HIS bleSsings.


i aM stiLl learning, stiLL falling, stiLL risinG, stiLL loVing, stiLL whininG, stiLL appreciating, stiLL discoVerinG. i aM STILL.


my heaRt is fiLLed with lots of Love nOw. in 6 weeKs tyM...d heaRt wiLL be overfLowing much moRe wiTh loads of iT! *griNzz*

cOm'on, wuN u aDd more lurVee in my Life & GimmE sUm T-L-C!! (",)



*HUGS* TOTAL! give juzfaj more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own

Desires


[better tomoRrows]
[to be induLged in bOoks & muVees]
[to be marrieD to thaT sUmoNe]
[weLL-deServeD resPite & resT]
[..& ONLY YOU]


What Inspires?


Her Tunes


By My Side

mengaPa iSa?
wrIte & pLay!!
duNia bakaL pM.. =P
d reD oNe =D
leMonz r swit!
teeNy-bOoper aLeeya!
aNa's horNy? =P
woMen wHo wiN
a fooL he is Not!
Linda's LaiR
X-TuTee.. =P
funKy juNi.. ;o)
yuN deaRest.. =)
kak ManJa!
A qaMostrophic Lyf
taN sri?? =P
kaK dieLLa
peNtas aKu!

Precious days

**a PreggiE's refLectioN**
**coMic reLief**
**Date Of d yeaR....**
**d oNe abOut motHerhOod...**
**I loVe U becaUse......**
**d missiNg pieCe is missiNg agaiN**
**d iNNer d(A)emOn**
**picTure perFect**
**speLL: e-L-e-v-e-N**
**mY reD 'Ain**

Lost Memories

::June 2004::
::July 2004::
::August 2004::
::September 2004::
::October 2004::
::August 2005::
::September 2005::
::October 2005::
::November 2005::
::December 2005::
::January 2006::
::February 2006::
::March 2006::
::April 2006::
::May 2006::
::June 2006::
::July 2006::
::August 2006::
::September 2006::
::October 2006::
::November 2006::
::December 2006::
::January 2007::
::February 2007::
::March 2007::
::April 2007::
::May 2007::
::June 2007::
::July 2007::
::August 2007::
::September 2007::
::October 2007::
::November 2007::
::December 2007::
::April 2008::
::June 2008::
::September 2008::
::October 2008::

Your Say


Thanks To

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sEekiNg s.p.A.c.e.
Monday, March 27, 2006

i'Ve had it. waD is wroNg wiF diS househoLD???

juZ waD is wroNg wiF peopLe in heRe???????

InEedmYpriVacY..........

AND

mY

s P A C E.

GiVe me caaN?

i caN maKe my owN decisiOns.

i duN neeD peopLe douBtinG mE.

i duN neeD peopLe to juDge me.

i duN neeD thOse whO ain'T understAnding Me to ruN my LiFe for ME.

aiYoOoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

pLease lah.

Let Me breaThe caN?

SESAK arh.

PFfFffffT. infiNteLy pFffffFt-iNg.

-thOughTz sPoKen @ 12:57 PM :)

~yoU n mE~
Friday, March 24, 2006

i loVe dis soNg...oUr soNg...Let d soNg dO d saYing.. (",)



haNg in der Dear. Almost doNe for d weeK. =)

-thOughTz sPoKen @ 12:53 AM :)

it BegiNz
Thursday, March 23, 2006

iT was d eNd. buT it waS aLso d begiNNing.

yesTerdaY i'd officiaLLy enDed d suPPort grouP proGraMme foR youNg couPles. it was quiTe an emotionaL eveNt. fiLLed wif saDness n feeLings of Loss; oN d otHer haNd, iT was aLso fiLLed wiF (reNewed) hoPe.

waTching & hearing theiR storiEs had giVen me d oppOrtuniTy to groW as weLL. d reaLities of marriaGe. d exTent of their struGgles. theIr hoPes n dreaMs. their iNner toTz for betterMent.

As mucH as d couPles haVe to deaL wif d sadNess n Loss, i reaLised taT i, tOo neeDed termInatioN frOm my rOle as d grouP's faciliTator. I haVe groWn to Love d groUp n iTs members; to Care foR deM & shOw concerN feR theiR situaTioNz.

iT waS mY firsT stiNt as a suPport GrouP faciLitator. mY baBy. Hence, d attaChment.

deR weRe tyMz wHere i feLt as if i suCked@beiNg a faciLitaTor. But theiR koMenz assuRed mE. affirMed me. empowerEd me. teLLing me taT i stiLL haVe a roLe to pLay in fuTure proGrammes & baTches of coupLes.

oNe of d swities coMMented:

"I LoVe yoU kaK faJar. ThanX for everYting! woN't forgeT you & your adviCe!! Muack!!"

Her werDz touChed mY heaRt, i wanted to BursT out in teaRs of Joy.

d loNg hrs of werK, d staYing back fer d prograMme, d canceLLatioNz, d werriEs. aLL weRe weRth it.

Like anGeLz, deY toUch my heaRt.

Thank yOu swiTieZ & hunKz.

mY dOaz fer yoUr marriaGes to contiNue beiNg stroNg; thaT U wiLL be bLesseD wiF d paTienCe n strenGth to work ouT aLL yoUr issUes; anD to haVe faitH in seekiNg haPpiness fer yOur spoUses.

aNd so, it begiNz.

-thOughTz sPoKen @ 12:05 AM :)

enGaGed in-diFfereNce
Wednesday, March 22, 2006

suM of my faVe piCz froM d caMeraMan.. (",)


feeLing nostaLgic gitUu..i loiKeeee...

aWww..so tak bLeh angKattt.. =P

i'Ve been asked, how its liKe to be engaGed, 2b suM1's fianceE.

hMmm..i woNder. is dEr much diFfereNce? or aM i juz indiffereNt? =P

d onLi differeNce i feeL @ d mOmenT is d change in staTus. sURe takes sum tyM to regIster weN peopLe refeR to eaCh of Us as 'yoUr tuNang'. heHe. d werD sounds suMhow foreiGn 2d earZ. haHA!

bUt ya, taT's abOut iT. for d moment. d enGagement was fairLy reCent. i caN't poiNt out fer suRe d otHer chaNges taT maY coMe; bUt i knOw boTh hiM n mE wiLL trY our besT to adaPt n werK aroUnd d chaNges.

buiLding d reLationshiP n pLanning aheaD. taT reMains d saMe. iTs suMting taT He n Me haVe always beeN doiNg foR uS. sUre we haD our uPz n doWnz, buT tHose r lessOns learnt ain'T it? =)

d nexT step is preParing n pLanning for marriaGe. i waNt uS 2b d soleh anD soLehah sPOuse to each oTher. insyaAllah, our intenTions to buiLd a Good marriaGe wiLL b bLessed. i do hOpe freNz n loVed oNes wiLL joiN us bY giVing uS their dO'as.

deR r thoSe wHo say we'Ve moVed too faSt. deR r thOse Hu feeL tHat eiTher of uS is deManding towaRds d otHer. sUm saY taT either of Us is nOt undersTanding of d otHer.

i aM not disHearteNed. (insyaAllah..)

perhaPz if deY taKe a waLk in Our shOez, deY wouLd probabLy understaNd waD it meanZ 2B in oUr reLatioNship.

i do not bLame anYbodY taT speaKs, No. in faCt, i tenK deM fer their werdZ of enCouragement. i tenK deM fer poinTing ouT my weaKneSses thrU' their werDs.

i aM not d perfeCt parTner aFter aLL. i whiNe. i compLain. i siGh. BUT..

i'm stiLL learniNg..

leaRning to loVe an imperfeCt persOn peRfectLy. =) (perFect in d moSt huMan seNse, i say. *winKzz*)

i haVe leaRnt..

to loVe despite fLaws
to loVe desPite d triaLz
taT love meanz aCceptinG
taT loVe meaNz acknowLedging

taT Love is simiLar
tat loVe is differeNt too.

i tenK Allah, for without his graCe n blessings..i wiLL not be abLe to finD more loVe in this maN i haVe met..

i tenK Allah, for granting me d patieNce as weLL in buiLding diS reLationshiP.

Here'S a toaSt to LiFe's traNsitiOnz. *faJ raiSes mUg of teH tariK*

(,")(",)

-thOughTz sPoKen @ 1:22 AM :)

aYuh ikUt ke LoronG 12..

hiDup perLu maKaN...
maKan perLu uaNg..
UanG perLu kerJa...
daN kerJa, aKu perLu....

Kata-kaTa itu sering diuLang di PentaS. maNusia punya piLihan. taPi tidAk seMua punyai piLihan yaNg tePat dan bermanFaat. tidaK semUa punyai kepeLbagaiaN piLihaN. tidak seMua biSa turuTi piLihan yaNg baiK, waLaupuN piLihan itu yaNg diBeri.

is taT aLways so? soaLan iNi sentiaSe berLigar2 di fiKiran ku as i waTched d pLay LoroNg 12 recentLy. LoroNg 12 is a pLay of d liVelihoodz of proStitUtes - theiR upZ n doWnz, their diLemmas, d paThz of meN theY haVe croSsed, n their exisTence in d coNtexT of spAce, cuLture, tyM & geNder.

d maK nyaH, d apeK hU beCame d baPak ayaM, d indoNesiaN ladiEs forced intO prostituTion, youNg tiNgz Hu haD losT out on educatiOn, ladiEs in seaRch of loVe n d meaNing of LiFe n d teeNy bitz of hoPe deY couLd liVe by - thEse r but amoNg d charaCter n theMes coLouriNg d pLay.

i enJoyed d apek's charaCter mucH. reaL bLack huMour. hiS huMour suMhow underminez d bisNes he's invoLved iN. not forGetting d maK nyaH too - i weN eWwww weN (s)He diD d poLe daNce, n maN..(s)he wAs feW centiMetres awaY froM wHere i was seaTed. HAHA!

iS der suCh a tinG caLLed no choiCe; limiTed choicE or forCed to taKe a certaiN choiCe? iF we haD free wiLL n arE giVen tat abiLity to tinK and chOOse, shouLd 'i had no other choice' B an exCuse at aLL? n deN wad..reGret n fiNd sumtiNg/sumOne to put d bLame oN?

in mY werK, dis is sumting i aLways haVe been tryinG to reconciLe weN i cOme face to faCe wiF cLientz. deR r a myriaD of choiCes ouT der noT exPlored n charTered by individuaLz n famiLies. iT geTz frustraTing weN peopLe duN waN to chaNge weN deR r aveNues to dO so.

n deN. suM liGht.

choiCes dO not stand aLone. choiCes interPlay wiF faTe & destiNy, wiF d individuaL's beLiefs & vaLuez, wiF socieTy's exPectatiOnz, oppOrtunities avaiLable n perhaPz, lucK too.

GeE.

buT deN waD is d aqaL for deN?

i caN heaR my owN voice in d backgroUnd; reiteRating to d youThs: "u thiNk & evaLuate yoUr choiCes, U maKe deM; bUt U mUz aLso liVe d consequenCes."

deN aLanis saYs :
You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn


chOOse tHen.

-thOughTz sPoKen @ 12:15 AM :)

wHat is worK??
Tuesday, March 21, 2006

heRe's looKing at werK wif a tiNge of huMour..huRhurHur.. =P



hOW noW? anYbodY stiLL worKing?? =P i loIkeee d 'caLL for a MeetiNg' poSter. heHeHe.. *griNzz*

-thOughTz sPoKen @ 11:43 PM :)

deLayed voYage - d lurVeeee cruiSeeee
Tuesday, March 14, 2006

heRe r suM delayed piCz frOm a (not-sO receNt) werK eveNt wiC had my adrenaLine rushiNg fer a coupLe of weeKz..reaLi. :

geTting readY...

sTeadY...

Go!! hiaKhiaK.. lawa kaAan gaMbar niiH??? ;o)

yeaH...had a greaT tyM oN board d lurVe cruisE.. waS superbLy buSy n buZzing wiF activiTy taT i diN haVe much tyM to taKe piCz on boArd. gaMbar niE poN r shOtz taKen bY d roving caMeramen.

i pLayed maiN faciLitator fer aLL d activiTies. waS quite nervouS haVing to presEnt in froNt of a Large crowD. Alhamdulillah, receiVed encouragiNg koMenz abOut my presEnting skiLLz. duN asK me wheRe thosE skiLLz caMe frOm. it juZ caMe out. hiakhiAkhiaK.. so much fer seLf esTeem, faJ. =P

deaR heLped oUt @d eveNt; n i'm gLad he enJoyed himseLf much. he saiD i'd foUnd hiM a new hoBby - atteNding & heLping oUt fer mY werK activiTies. *griNzz*

i toT i was pretty meaN to hiM 'coS i was quiTe caught up in d proJect preparatiOnz; henCe, suM leveL of stRess, which probabLy equaTes to suM lashIng oUtz@hiM. =S shEesh..suMting i'd haVe to learN to modeRate in futuRe. so gLad taT he was quite understaNding of wad i was goiNg thrU'... *smiLEzz*

haNdling maRriagE suPport groUp & invoLvemeNt in diS loVe cruiSe proJect haS addeD oN to my exPerieNce n understaNding of maritaL life. i'M toucheD by d coupLes coMmitMent to see & haVe theiR marriaGe werK; theiR oPen-Ness in shariNg theiR issueS aNd theiR desiRe to oVercoMe the obsTacLes faCed toGether.

teNk U guYz n gerLs fer teaChing mE sUm bitz of Life. i reaLi aPpreciAte it.

d werK is tiring. d werK is deMandIng.

BUT

fuLfiLLeD.

SaTisfied.

i Am.

-thOughTz sPoKen @ 11:48 PM :)

oNe steP aHead...
Monday, March 13, 2006

finaLLy..aFter moNths of waitiNg & daYs of pLanninG & gOd nOez how maNy hoUrs of preparatiOn...me & hiM haVe taKen thaT steP aheaD...

i aM engaGed.. (",)

11 March 2004; small affair fer famiLY n freNz. sO my dear freNz, do noT b disaPpointed if u were noT invited. dO giVe me & my fianCee ur doAs. insyaAllah, moGa ikataN ini diberkatI hingga ke aLam rumahtaNgga daN seterusnYa ke akhir hayaT.. aMiin..

suMhow it stiLL feeLs surreaL. 1 momeNt i'm in a reLationship; d nexT i'm enGaged & d nexT i'M aLready pLanning foR mY weddiNg. i'Ve watChed my sisTaz get enGaged, marrieD n becoMe mothers. n now mE. n stiLL, accordiNg to my "how-i-feeL" checkList, d feeLingz not sunKen in yeT.. hiakhiakhiaK..weLL..takes tyM tO adjuSt wUN it? *griNzz*

mY beLoved nePhew - d firsT feW to taKe d shots wiF his auNt.. ;o)

sO un-Me. hehe..i'd to puT up wiF hrs of maKe up & kepereMpuaNan yaNg menyerLah sunggoH..kweKwekwe.. ;o) d maKe up waS prettY thiCk & i was prettY much sweaTing buckEts. sO, by d end of d daY, mY maKe up was ruNning (literaLly) n mY face was liKe..hahahaha..oK..i can't descriBe it.. *faJ roLLz on d flOor laffiNg*

mE & deaRest yuN...teNx so mucH swiTie! *huGgzz*

mY kudOs to my famiLy especiaLLy for aLl dey haVe doNe for mE in preparinG for mY enGagement.. - my 4th sisTa fer her gubaHanz; mY moM foR sewiNg my baJu n fer cookiNg on d eVent daY; mY 2nd sisTa fer leNdinG me d caDar katiL.. =P; my other sibLingz & their husbandz fer heLping out aroUnd d hoUse on d eveNt daY. i reaLi2 appreciaTe it!

aLso tenX to my coLLeagueZ & feW other freNz fer attendiNg my smaLL maJlis. ur atteNdaNce meaNs much to me.

to my slacker maiteZ..i lurVe u peePz. moga2 rezKi kumpuLan kita bertaMbah..rash's nExt..i caN't waiT fer his eveNt!

bLissfuLly enGaged...(",)

cLick heRe to vieW more of my engaGement piCz...

enjOy!! (",)

-thOughTz sPoKen @ 12:20 AM :)