Tuesday, August 30, 2005
juZ a normaL daY@werK. fraNTicaLLy clearIng my desKs. no maTTEr hoW maNy tyMz i dO housekeePing. sTuffs r simPly piLing uP on mY desK. GAWD.
i LooK oN d riGht - littLe notes reMind mE of tinGs yeT 2b doNe.
i LooK aHead - PffffTtt..duN remiND me of mY leaNing toWer of pisA in-traY.
i LooK 2 mY lefT - stacKs oF caSe notes yEt 2b tyPed.
i LooK @mySeLf - teNk gaWd i m stiLL breaThing.
*faJ breaThes suM more..inhaLeeee...exhaLeee.....*
i sUre couLd usE an oxyGen taNk diS yeaR. HAHA.
aNywaY, gruMble2..i geT so ecsTatic weN i'M doNe tyPing a caSe's nOtes; d deaD rinGer iS taT anOther seT foR anoTher caSe coMes iN. maCam giNi ruGi beBz kaLo buaT bisNes transaCtiOn..heHe..
vaD to Doo...cOooBaaaAnnnNN..
haD driviNg todaY..abOut a mtH more to mY TP tesT. dO hoPe i'd paSs it..
enJin diEd 2-3 tyMz todaY..haHa..niaRi my bitiNg poiNt aLL liKe craPz maNz.. kweKzz...caNNot laH breaK so loNg..hehe. i shaLL endeaVour 2b more reguLar in my lessOns; tesT is kaMing, so muZ pass!! wHeeee~
praY foR me mY freNs.
cOme oCtober, is tHe D-daY! Lalalalalala....
goT suM toTz in mY heaD i waNNa puT doWn..bUt i juZ duNNoe hw to staRt.. aaRghhh..my miND liKe juMping frOm topIc to toPic dis feW daYs.
shaLL attemPt tO seT deM dowN heRe weN i'M more settLed yeaHz?
tiLL deN.
guD nyTz ma' fweNzz..
-thOughTz sPoKen @ 2:26 PM :)
i meT a lady todaY. uNkemPt shE waS. wiF her littLe gaL.
"waD are uR issUes lady?"
heR answeRs brieF.paUse. aNd shE stAres.
"heLLoooo..eaRf caLLing maRz..eaRf caLLing maRz.."
sHe repeaTz earLier staTemenTz. paUse. aNd sHe staRes.
i asKed quesTioNs agaIn. deR seeMs 2b nO issUe. tiNgs seeM 2b fiNe.
maYb u'R not reaDy to toK 2 Me. bUt u caMe unexPecteDly laSt weeK. unaRRanged. tOk 2 me miLady. waD? hOW? whY? whEN?
*haIzz*
i goT a biT frustraTed.
paPer n peN i gaVe her. meBBe u niD tiMe to soRt ouT ur toTz. maYb toKKing's haRd. 10 miNutes? tinK aboUt it. & i'LL b baCK?
baCk in 15 miNutes in faCt. n aLL she wroTe weRe 2 lines. 3 werDs. 2 numBers.
"Ok, leT's nOt foRce her." i saiD. maYbe shE's nOt reaDY?
i reviEwed mY materiaLz, gaVe her mY toTz, suMMariseD d sessiOn.
sHe was starIng bLanks agaiN. diS tyM, diffeRent. heR eyeS reD. beaDs roLLing doWn.
thOse eYes. spOke to Me. deY looKed loSt. desPeraTe. deY seeMed 2waNt to teLL me suMting. buT waD? waD miLady?
iF u aiN't toKkinG, i aiN't ListeNing. i caN lisTen 2 d uNspoKen, bUt heLp me. giVe me d certainTy of uR werDs.
sPeak miLadY.
u haVe my eaRs.
sPeak mOre.
& i'LL giVe u mY haNds.
-thOughTz sPoKen @ 12:25 PM :)
Monday, August 29, 2005
i, foR one, seLdom whIne or exPress mY loVe oPenLy. buT i haVe to geD diS outta mY systeM. diN nOE i couLd be missIng sum1 diS mucH... =P [diD i heaR u peopLe gO aWwwwww...or eWwwwwww?? *griNzzz*]
iTs diFferent diS tyM, wiF hiM. hoPefuLLy, our uLtimate goaL can be achieVed. taT i hOpe & praY everydaY. maY our reLationshiP bLossoM & b prOtected by him.. AmeeN..
9 more daYs. keeP myseLf occuPied wiF werK, n insyaAllah, i caN get thRu d tyM faSt.
stiLL countiNg nOw.
i MiSs hIm.
*siGhz*
bacK to worK toMorrOw.
*faJ breaTheessssSss..*
-thOughTz sPoKen @ 10:38 AM :)
teNx to d queeNswaY triP yesTerdaY wIF mY sLacker maItez, i'M a proUd owNer of.......pReseNtiiNg....mY neW ruNninG shOes cOurtesY of new baLance..... *cLapz2*
wiF a toUch of piNk & kewL laCes..i juz feLL in loVe wif d shOe weN i saW it... inaH laffEd @me weN i toL her i lurVed d laCes..d laCes, insTead of juZ a straIght pieCe of striNg u puT thrU yeR shoes, arE buLgy..hehe.. i duNno hOw to descrIbe it, bUt taT's how d laCes looK liKe & i LoiKeeEee~..heheHe..
nOW i can go ruNning.. S$116 goNe off mY paY checK..bUt i tot it waS werTh it. aFTer mY Tikar-looking bLuE niKe shOes weN R.I.P. after mY aceH triP, i haVe not foUnd a paiR of shOes taT coUld capture my hearT n mY eyeS.. [haHa.. si draMatic, padahaL shoEs oNi..] nExt to niKe, neW baLance seeMs 2b mY nexT choiCe feR ruNning shOes. for one, its price is reasOnabLe; secoNdly, i duNno..i duN like adidaS & reeBok's desiGn. HAHA..
toLd deaR 'boUt d puRchaSe..& weLL, he gaVe a stRong reaCtioN weN i toL him d shOe priCe. interroGated 'bOut d naTure of d shoE n sTuff & heaR his whiNinGz 'boUt geTting a cheaPer & beTTer shOes & beTTer consuLtatiOn service @ peninSula.
N deR i waS@d otHer enD of d Line, roLling mY eyeS goiNg liKe..waH liAozz..shOes r shoes lOrr..hehe...juz weaR & ruN laaH. aS loNg as niCe & coMfy, i'M fiNe wif iT. he saId d shOes werE kinDa exPensiVe [i aLmost wanted 2 bLuRt out d raNge of d priCe as coMpared to hiS oaKleY shaDes. =P]. geTtinG a biT annoYed, sO i toLd hiM i liKe d shoeS, sO its okaY.
deN he saiD, "i coNcerned boUt u maaH. duN waN u to geT any injuriEs weN u ruN. sO muz weaR d proPer shOes." gaWd i feLt bad, & der i was gettIng annOyed 'boUt his paRticularitieS. hmmm..meN & wOmen reaLi do tiNk differentLy. lessOn learNt.
see, deaR runs a Lot & hiS verY intO aLL dis spOrts worKout & sPortS geaR tiNgy. i diN see taT frOm his persPective, injury waS a concerN. aKu lantaK jer lah, asaLkaN sedaP pakai, oKay gO ajer..hehe..
oK faJ pOinT noted. nexT tyM b4 reaCt oR feeLing annoyeD, taKe a steP bacK 2c tiNgs thrU' his leNs. faRnee hOw a pair of shOes couLd creaTe sucH differeNces in totz.
toKKing 'bout deaR, i misS him. badLy. =(
"aiN't no sunshIne weN HE's goNe. it's nOt waRm weN his awaY. aiN't nO sunshIne weN he'S goNe. & he'S aLwaYs gone too lOng, anytiMe he goes awaY..."
meaNwhile, i shaLL juz seeK soLace in mY new shOes. hehe..
-thOughTz sPoKen @ 8:55 AM :)
Friday, August 26, 2005
eVer feLt aLone?
LefT oUtsiDe aLone bY AnasTacia
All my life i've been waiting
for you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok, i dont feel safe
I dont feel safe (oooh)
Left Broken, empty and in despair
Wanna breathe, can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
so much more i have to say
help me find a way
And i wonder if you know
how it really feels,
to be left outside alone
when it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
just how it feels
to be left outside alone
to be left outside alone
I tell you,
All my life i've been waiting
for you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok, i dont feel safe
I need to pray..
Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
careless, helpless little man
someday i might understand
Theres not much more to say
but i hope you find a way
Still i wonder if you know, how it really feels
to be left outside alone, when its cold out here
well maybe you should know, just how it feels,
to be left outside alone
to be left outside alone
I tell you,
All my life i've been waiting
for you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok, i dont feel safe
I need to pray..
Ooh Pray
Heavenly father (oooh)
(Please)Heavenly father (Save me) Oh save me
Oooooh..
And I Wonder If you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
when its cold out here
Well maybe you should know
just how it feels
to be left outside alone
to be left outside alone
All my life i've been waiting
for you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not ok, i dont feel safe
I Need to Pray....
i wuNder hOw it feeLs 2b lefT outsIde aLone. 2b waLking aLone. tinking aLone. screaMing aLone. crYing aLone.
nO oNe hearD. no oNe saW. nO cOmPany. nO oNe caRed. nO oNe bothereD. noBodY knew, yoU?
i recaLLed whaT biG O' saiD aBout haVing middLe cLass vaLues.
gaWd. hOw ofTen haVe i beeN imPosinG mY imPosiNg suCh vaLues oN d individuaLs i'V meT?
diD i leaVe theM aLone tO?
d diarY moMmy caMe agaiN todaY. i trieD listeNing HARDER.
sO haRd i feLt my brain ceLLs bursT.
y aiN't sHe stiLL listeNing.
i verY frustRated LeeH.
i M sO freaKing sTuck wiF d diaRy moMmy.
nOw, sOmebodY lisTen to ME. caN?
-thOughTz sPoKen @ 2:12 PM :)
Okie everYone...let'S shOut it oUt loUd togeTher....
ItS PAY DAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!
~~wHeEeeEeEEEEEeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeEEeeee~~
[perFormaNce bOnus incLuded]
mY eyeS weN bLinG bLinG weN i hoLLereD tO ma' maN, d ATM maChine@ luNch tiMe. i LoiKEeEEee~
reJoiCe, in d meaN tiMe.
[sOrt d biLLs laTer]
-thOughTz sPoKen @ 1:41 PM :)
Thursday, August 25, 2005
wHat is humiLity?
| Results of "The Test" |
How humble are you?
Your score = 100 |
| |
 |
What does your score mean? You are the humblest of the humble. According to your test results, you don't have an arrogant bone in your body. Maybe you just don't give a fig whether you impress others, or simply don't feel the need to toot your own horn. Hopefully, though, you really do like yourself! A lack of self-confidence can lead to all kinds of problems like depression, unhappy relationships and a fear of going after the things we really want. If you do have a high self-esteem but just prefer keeping that knowledge to yourself, good for you! Being humble is certainly more attractive than being cocky and full of yourself. The bottom line, which you seem to recognize, is: the way you feel about who you are is more important than what anyone else thinks.
trY it, d humilitY tesT.
It'd werK wundeRz if we coUld reaLLy meaSure sOme1's humiLity.
HaVe i beeN humbLe to thOse around me? & to myseLf eveN?
suMting foR me to thiNk abOut.
mE beD becKons Me.
*ouTzz*
-thOughTz sPoKen @ 5:49 PM :)
Y chanGe thOse wHo r unwiLLing to chanGe?
InteresTing discovery todaY: desPite ofTen lisTening, i maY have to lisTen morE. eVen moRe.
HmMm..& weN peopLe duN lisTen tO U, iTs eveN haRder. 'coS u'D haVe to liSten to d tinGs deY DUN saY.
huManz r comPlex beiNgs areN't dey? a paiR of eaRs, yeT deY duN lisTen. a moUth to discOurse, yeT kePt mUm. dUn compLain faJ. u r a coMplex beIng yerseLf.
more pErpLexed i aM bY mY chiLd manaGement caSes. paRents r suCh wuNderfuL hoMo saPienz..yeT, deManding; eniGma, yeT an irOny@d saMe tYm.
aFter seeIng paRents, teeNz & chiLdreN, i wuNder iF i'd maKe a guD pareNt. i See miRrors refLecting maNy imaGes of paRents deaLing wiF chiLdreN in d wrongest of waYs, teeNagers fuLL of anGst & clUeless oF wat deY'r rebeLLing agaiNst (hiStoRy shOws taT i waS probLy oNe, stiLL is perhapS?), famiLies unawaRe of d unconstruCtiVe tiNgs deY do to exaCerbate d probLem. Allah help me, pLease. bLess Me wiF d streNgth & braiNz 2b a guD parent weN my tyM coMes.
*expeCtatiOns vS affirMatioN*
i feeL greaT weN clienTz aprpeciaTe me. d adrEnaLine rusH to my heaD (& mY buTt..keMbang maaH..haHa..) weN deY muTter swIt, suGaRy stUfs liKe "triMa kasiH puaN. budI puaN tak boLeh kaMi baLas.", "baGus lah dataNg ke mari, daPat berbiNcang begIni." etc. i feeL so affirMed taT efforts & tyM dUn go to wasTe.
wiTh affirmaTion coMes expectaTions thO'. "..boLeh dapaT buah fikiraN dari puaN fajariaH", "naK buat perubahaN." & d liKes of diS koMenz. sCares me. weN a pareNt menG"puaN"kaN me, a 24-yr oLd saUdari. reaLi scaRes me. i m nOt d experT. i m nOt d pseUdo-pareNt of ur chiLd. i m mE. sociaL werKer. learNing. liVing. struggLing. dUn 'fairY-gOd mother' Me to chaNge d kIdZ on d bLock (or oFf?).
inseCure. 'cos aFter eaCh sessiOn, i bcoMe criticaL of myseLf. diD i do, saY d rYt tiNgs? haVe i listeNed enUf? diD i becOme d pareNt or d chiLd?
*chaNge*
wad did i dO noW? frUstrated 'coS she was doiNg it aLL wroNg. ALL WRONG. wRONG = aggRavaTe d otHer = biG nO nO! sHared my frusTratiOns wiF oNe of mY biG Os@d OffiCe. reaLised hoW beNt i waS to deaL wiF an individuaL whO was doIng it aLL wroNg, yeT has nO insIght iNto d wroNgness. aLL my werDs feLL on deaF eaRs. fiGured if i usEd a loUd haiLer, it woUldn't werK either.
biG O: "faJar, y is do peopLe not listeN, to taT exteNt?"
taT got me tiNking awhiLe.
faJ: "erMm..maYb because sUm of theiR neeDs r nOt meT yet?"
taT brOught us intO a discuSsion on possibLe neeDs of d cLient tat r noT meT as yeT. deN it dauNt mE taT I'd probLy diN lisTen enUf; or 2b poLiticaLLy coRrect: i juZ neeD to giVe her mOre airtiMe & lisTen more to Her.
liSten to d tiNgs unsaiD; heaR d unhearD.
waD a Job.
-thOughTz sPoKen @ 5:20 PM :)
yasMin aHmad's laTest & probabLy onLy maLay poeM Wednesday, August 24, 2005
kUDos to mY gerLfreN ana whO foUnd dis oN yasMin ahmaD's weBbie.. kewL & kiNky pUisi, i muZ saY..haha..i loIkeeee..
Eleh!
You tu memang gitu.
Kejap nak,
kejap tak nak.
Takut I sentuh,
takut I tak sentuh.
Bila I chakap hello,
you mengeluh.
Bila I chakap bye-bye,
you berserabai.
Sudahlah.
I dah malas.
Tak de masa.
Banyak kerja lain.
Banyak mata lain
yang gian nak
ber-tango
dengan mata I.
Banyak lidah lain
yang hauskan
bibir I.
Bibir I yang tebal tak tebal,
nipis tak nipis.
Senyum atau chemik,
sentiasa manis.
Bibir yang basah
berginchu merah,
cherah secherah-cherahnya.
Bayangkan,
seperti yang you pernah bayangkan.
Bibir I, di bibir you.
Bibir I, di telinga you.
Di leher you.
Di dada you.
Di perut you.
Di pusat you.
Di peha you.
Di sana you
dan di situ you.
Bayangkanlah.
Jangan malu-malu.
Bukan I tak tahu.
Memang you pernah bayangkan dulu.
Eleh!
You tu memang gitu.
Dah tahu
buat tak tahu.
*****************************************************
And this is a balas under her comments box..HeHe..
Hek Eleh,
Bukan I tak mahu
Bukannya u tak tahu
I ni kan pemalu
Cuba nak bagitahu
Tapi u nampak pura-pura tak lalu
Sudahlah tu
Jangan begitu
Kalau u dah malas
Macam mana I nak balas
Kalau u begitu
I akan terkedu
Banyak kerja lain?
Kemana? Sidai Kain?
Kalau gitu
Macam mana nak main?
Apa kata ditepi penyidai kain?
Kita main saing-saing
I tau banyak mata lain
Tapi yang sepet ni jugak yang lain
Mata yang u puja
Buatkan hati u teruja
Tapi apa kan daya
Mata yang u puja
Bibir yang I teruja
Kini masing-masing dah berpunya
Sekarang ni bukan I malu
Tapi sekarang dah tak macam dulu
Bukannya u tak tahu
I bukannya solo macam dulu
Dan u tak single selalu
Memang I selalu bayangkan
Bibir u dibibir I
Bibir u ditelinga I
Di leher I
Di dada I
Di perut I
Di pusat I
Di peha I
Di mana-mana I
Walau kini kegersangan
Tapi I tetap sayangkan my dian
Tapi I tetap bayangkan my gian
Hek Eleh
Itu lah I nak bagitahu
Kenapa I begitu
Bukannya tak mahu
Tetapi malu
-thOughTz sPoKen @ 6:46 PM :)
sUmting to share wif d werLd..mY faV quote frOm d muVee, "a waLk to reMember". yeaHzz... chew on diS peopLe:
"Love is patient; love is kind; it does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will pass away; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love."
-thOughTz sPoKen @ 6:37 PM :)
reD carPet pLeaSeeeee....
haLLOoooo werLd.....wHEeeEee~ i'm bacK wiF a beTTer tempLate, beTTer laYouts & mORe aDd-Ons iN d siTe..keke...stiLL tryIng to graSp aLL dis tecH stuffs. weLL, i M sO totaLLy noT tech-saVVy to begiN wiF. duN asK me hOW i puT in stUffs oNto mY bLoggie, 'coS i reaLi noE nuTz. triaL & errOr n suMhow it werKz oUt. HAHA!!
yeaHzz..sorrY, beeN abseNt for a Long2 tiMe. tOt taT i wouLd forsaKe dis bLog tiNgy sumhOw. bUt weLL, i beGin to fiNd taT as i groW, i neeD d aveNue to juZ rambLe & shOOt oUt aLL my thoUghtz. iTz oNe-heLLuva werLd i m goIng thRu rYt nOw..so maNy tinGs haVe happeNed & are haPpeniNg. i Need to laY oUt mY toTz. doEsn't maTTer if i haVe no readErs out deR, buT yeaHz..@leaSt i'v exPresseD waT i tiNk & feeL. hehe.
k laH. laTe nyt oreDi. waiT i updaTe sum more about me.
bTW, 1 more daY to paY daY & performaNce boNus.. wheeeEEeee~
*faJ outZ*
-thOughTz sPoKen @ 6:35 PM :)
falling hearts
