a waNdereR's Love

reTrospecTion..contempLatiOnzz..& more refLectiOnzz...

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

"woMen Need reaL moMentz of soLitude & self-reFlectiOn to baLance oUt hOw mucH of ourseLves we give awaY.."

hMmm..wiF 2005 goNe, waD lies ahEad foR me in thiS new yeaR, 2006? i'D wriTten d abovE werDz in an earLier entry; leFt me wunderiNg, hOw much of my 'seLf' i'Ve giVen awaY.

iT maY soUnd a tragedY 2b giVing away oNe's seLf. But isN't oUr lIFe greater thAn Just, ourseLves? d iNter-cOnnecTedneSs of ouR liVes to taT oF otHerz; how otHers infLuenCe our acTioNz & decisiOnz aNd likeWise, hOw We infLuenCe otHerz..

i'Ve aLways giVEn a larGe part of my liFe to sysTemz & individuaLz - wOrk, famiLy, freNz & otHer individuaLz or activiTies. i'Ve aLways put otHerz befOre myseLf, aND oVer d yeaRz, i'Ve learNt taT i niD 2b seLfisH aT tyMz. bUt neVertheLess, thOse important to Me stiLL maTTer a Lot to Me. eveN if i dUn shOw taT as oftEn as i shouLd. i juZ knOW deY DO matter.

2005 seeZ me devoTiNg a Lot of myself to werK, famiLy n loVe. werK has beeN fulfiLLing, and insyaAllah, wiLL alwaYS be. mY hoPe is to be abLE to grOw and develoP more profesionaLLy dis yeaR..dis yeaR saW me taKing uP & beiNg giVen maNy chaLLenges@werK. i'M gLad i maNaged weLL & i hoPe 2b abLe to maNage beTta, especiaLLy wif my caSes.

i received mY 2006 jOb descriPtioN yesTerdaY. d moMent i reaD it, my heart beaT sO faSt & maNy toTz camE to my heaD: aLL wunderinG if i couLd shouLder d resPonsibiLitieS giVen tO me. i M exciTed about d chaLlenges, yeT uncertaiN. gUes i'LL juz nOe beTTa weN i DO deM ryT?

sPeakinG of famiLy..i gUes i'V learNt 2accept d staTe of certain tiNgz, or raTher, individuaLz in d famiLy. no doUbt i geT sO daMn frustRated most of d tyM, bUt tiNgz r juz gonna b d waY deY r. mY onLi hope fer 2006 is feR der 2b hoPe fer dis familY memberz of miNe. hoPE fer change & hoPe fer deM 2 haVe d realisatiOn of their actiOnz.

iT caN b quite painfuL weN u're d oNe always depended uPon, yeT, often tYmz nOt understOod & misUnderstOod. but yeaH..famiLy's family after aLL. HE sees waD i dO..n HE sees waD my famiLy has doNe fer mE, whicH i haVe not. beaRing taT in miNd becoMes a buffeR to my frustRatiOnz & angeR. i jUz pRay my effOrtz r bLesseD, insyaAllah.

loVe: i foUnd loVe agaiN in 2005. loVing has tauGht me maNy tiNgz aBout forgiVing, acceptiNg, toleranCe, coMproMise, as weLL as understandinG. aLL lessoNz i couLdn't leArn or reaD elSewheRe. thanK u Allah, feR briNging taT sPeciaL suM1 to shAre my woEz & teaCh me d LittLe tiNgz in liFe. hoPefuLLy, 2006 wiLL see Me & deaR briNging Our relationshiP to d next leveL. sO peePz, probabLy seeiNg me taKing up more tuitiOn jObz dis yeaR yar? *griNzz*

a toT crOssed mY head thO' d otHer daY..i reaLised taT i feeL uneasY beinG aLone. i usEd 2b abLe to speNd tyM aLone - watch mUveez aLone, waLk arOund aLone. stoNe. aLone. sumhoW, i diN feeL comfortabLe beiNg aLone. SheeSh. losT tat paRt of me; perhApz beiNg aroUnd deaR often lateLy maDe me feeL taT waY. sUmtinG i neeD to re-LearN & geT useD too.

iTz ok 2b aLone. i haVe to geT used tO beinG aLone. i maY have to waLk aLone suM paThz diS yeaR. Not eaSy, taT i Noe. But i wiLL liVe thRu' d LonelIness, if i haVe to.

2006: hopefuLLy toMorroW is a Better daY thaN todaY..

maY d yeaR aheaD b fruitfuL & maY d grOwinG by d moNthz be fiLLed wiF maNy more meaNingfuL experieNces..n hoPe i duN losE my seNse of seLf in my quesT to fuLfiLL my diFfereNt roLez in d sysTemz n wiF d individuaLz aroUnd me..aMiin.

i oSo praY fer 2006 to bE a greaT yeaR fer peoPle i loVe: my famiLy, deaR, eLin, freNz liKe kaK feah & my sLacker maTez, as weLL as my coLLeagUez..

*faJ in fuLL geaR to Live her chaLLengez*

carPe diEm!

KamBataaaaaaYyyyyy!!!! =P

Ready to roLL...back to werK in 9 hoUrz tyM! nyTz everyOne!! (",)

-thOughTz sPoKen @ 4:08 PM :)